Last week I was having dinner and drinks with my good friend from Culinary School. When ever I come into town she and I go to some delicious new restaurant and gush about the latest things happening in our lives. Anyway, in our chit chat, I had brought up the fact that I've recently started seeing someone who I am...surprise surprise...actually into, and enjoy spending time with...which I feel is a novelty, as I know it's pretty much the most difficult thing to find when you're single. As we got to talking about that, we arrived on the subject of the 'creepy guy'.
Of course there is always the, awkward, shy guy that will stand in a corner and eye you the whole night but never approach you, or there's the one you feel bad for, who may try to harmlessly flirt with you but knows it won't go anywhere. Then there's the really old guy who could be your father, or even grandfather, who buys you a drink but realizes the age difference (hopefully) and so lets you be, the guy who practices his cheesy pick up lines on you, the greasy guy who spotted you across the room and just Had to say hello...the list goes on and on...
However my friend and I agreed that the guys who are actually more creepy than all those men, because usually those men are harmless to a point, are the ones who are into you and can't pick up the fact you aren't into them. The guys who relentlessly pursue you, disregarding all signs you give them that say "NO I will not give you my number, kiss you, date you, or sleep with you!".
All of us have found ourselves in this situation, and it happens anywhere and everywhere. It could go down at work, although it is more likely in a situation where the guy has no chance of ever seeing you again like at a bar, or on the dance floor of a club...or perhaps at an amusement park, or on the chairlift at a ski resort (your stuck there...). All in all, it's really not OK.
My friend and I wondered if this is a strange and total lack of ability to read signs or if in fact, these men are just ignoring the signs all together. I mean, I suppose I could understand the latter. Just look at all the fairy-tales and romantic comedies where the woman is pursued even though she can't stand the man, yet, she is eventually won over by his 'charm' and realizes he loves her for who she really is... because he ignored her signs that said NO. I hate to break it to you but this is a terrible model to base anything upon, and yet so many men and women base their pursuit of a partner upon this every day. I know it's part of the game we all play, and that flirtation always walks on the high tightrope of danger, however I think it might be a good idea to follow the rule of 'third time's a charm' : If by the third attempt at contact you haven't won at least a date or the phone number of the girl you are pursuing, forget it! That person is not worth your time and it's only your imagination that is telling you this person is what you want.
On the flip side, I realize this is what freaks men out about women. Women have this crazy ability to stalk and become infatuated with men they don't even know. This is also not OK. Just the other day in fact, I received an e-mail from a complete stranger asking me about a friend of mine she'd seen me in a photo with online. "He's the most attractive man I've seen, is he single? Could you put me in touch with him?" It's just odd right? There's something about the Internet that brings out the crazy in people.
So this is just a little reminder to you all to keep your cool, and don't overdo it when in pursuit, or people could be referring to you as the 'creepy guy' and or 'stalker chick'.
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