it's complicated...

It's funny cause it's true....

http://xkcd.com/355/

Creepy or Not Creepy that is the Question!

Last week I was having dinner and drinks with my good friend from Culinary School. When ever I come into town she and I go to some delicious new restaurant and gush about the latest things happening in our lives. Anyway, in our chit chat, I had brought up the fact that I've recently started seeing someone who I am...surprise surprise...actually into, and enjoy spending time with...which I feel is a novelty, as I know it's pretty much the most difficult thing to find when you're single. As we got to talking about that, we arrived on the subject of the 'creepy guy'. 

Of course there is always the, awkward, shy guy that will stand in a corner and eye you the whole night but never approach you, or there's the one you feel bad for, who may try to harmlessly flirt with you but knows it won't go anywhere. Then there's the really old guy who could be your father, or even grandfather, who buys you a drink but realizes the age difference (hopefully) and so lets you be, the guy who practices his cheesy pick up lines on you, the greasy guy who spotted you across the room and just Had to say hello...the list goes on and on...

However my friend and I agreed that the guys who are actually more creepy than all those men, because usually those men are harmless to a point, are the ones who are into you and can't pick up the fact you aren't into them. The guys who relentlessly pursue you, disregarding all signs you give them that say "NO I will not give you my number, kiss you, date you, or sleep with you!". 

All of us have found ourselves in this situation, and it happens anywhere and everywhere. It could go down at work, although it is more likely in a situation where the guy has no chance of ever seeing you again like at a bar, or on the dance floor of a club...or perhaps at an amusement park, or on the chairlift at a ski resort (your stuck there...). All in all, it's really not OK. 

My friend and I wondered if this is a strange and total lack of ability to read signs or if in fact, these men are just ignoring the signs all together. I mean, I suppose I could understand the latter. Just look at all the fairy-tales and romantic comedies where the woman is pursued even though she can't stand the man, yet, she is eventually won over by his 'charm' and realizes he loves her for who she really is... because he ignored her signs that said NO. I hate to break it to you but this is a terrible model to base anything upon, and yet so many men and women base their pursuit of a partner upon this every day. I know it's part of the game we all play, and that flirtation always walks on the high tightrope of danger, however I think it might be a good idea to follow the rule of 'third time's a charm' : If by the third attempt at contact you haven't won at least a date or the phone number of the girl you are pursuing, forget it! That person is not worth your time and it's only your imagination that is telling you this person is what you want.

On the flip side, I realize this is what freaks men out about women. Women have this crazy ability to stalk and become infatuated with men they don't even know. This is also not OK. Just the other day in fact, I received an e-mail from a complete stranger asking me about a friend of mine she'd seen me in a photo with online. "He's the most attractive man I've seen, is he single? Could you put me in touch with him?" It's just odd right? There's something about the Internet that brings out the crazy in people.

So this is just a little reminder to you all to keep your cool, and don't overdo it when in pursuit, or people could be referring to you as the 'creepy guy' and or 'stalker chick'.

Taking it back!

My girlfriends and I have started a new revolution that is based on taking back the good things that exist which remind us of ex boyfriends/lovers/people who aren't in our lives anymore due to some shitty reason. It started when I moved here, back in September, and my local friend was talking about the many places she wanted show me and take me. But, in the excitement of it all, she began to remember all the experiences she had with her ex-boyfriend at these places, and since she hadn't returned to many of them since they had split, it brought her whole mood down. It got me thinking, honestly, who hasn't been in that situation?! So we questioned why should we fall victim to this 'memory melancholy' because the thought of going some place fancy, delicious or fun reminds us of a particular experience we had with someone from the past we really don't want to remember. It's a wonderful thing, 'taking it back', as it allows us to free ourselves of the sometimes painful and confining memories, while creating new and exciting ones in their places.
The 'take it back' revolution directions are sweet and simple:  1. gather a good group of friends for an evening of allotted friend time 2. go to the place (restaurant, zoo, movie etc) or take part in the particular activity (ice skating, bowling etc) but this time with your friends, and 3. recreate the experience with a new, and far better memory sure to be filled with gut wrenching laughter.
I am recommending this revolution begin to take place in all of your lives as it really does work! Flushing out the old and bringing in the new is refreshing and healthy.  Its a way of moving on while saying 'screw you'...with out actually having to say it. Because as one of my favorite quotes says: "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming..."WHAT A RIDE!!!"

Confessions of a Flirtextaholic living the Single Life...

 I've been surfing the web a bit and have found some interesting and funny things about what my good friend Katie likes to call 'flirtexting'. It seems to be all the rage with anyone who has a cell phone and knows a member of the opposite sex. Not only are there numerous websites about the subject, but there's even a new book 'Flirtexting- How to text your way into his heart' and a very funny video: Texting Your Way To Love - YourTango  adressing the subject.

Flirting via Text has become a new way of life for so many folks. It's the new kind of relationship involving very little responsibility while taking a fair amount of 'safe' risk. This article "Text it to me Dirty Baby"explains all the great things one can do with texting...the risk taking, the short sweet messages that can be sent to let someone know you're thinking about them. It's truly a great way of involving and exercising one's imagination, you can be anything you want to be over a simple little text... coi, sassy, and clever everything's possible! Flirtexting is the new form of mental foreplay, assuming that you actually get to be with each other. 

It can be enormous amounts of fun, and the anticipation of getting a concise message that holds a world of innuendo is enough to excite even the most sexually conservative. In fact it becomes an addiction to adrenaline...someone you think about is thinking about you! One becomes trained by the sound of their phone's message alert, 'ding', to have an instant rush of excitement with each text. The simple thought that the 'ding' might just be that special someone sending you a sweet little crumb to chew on....then you could sometimes spend hours figuring out the perfect piece of decadence to send back. It's a vicious and yet very fun cycle that occupies our minds and even our bodies, as we are taken hostage by our cellular devices for days with the possibilities they hold. 

It's not until you wake up one morning and realize the entire relationship you're having with someone is based entirely on flirtexting that you start to realize this addiction. And then trying to pry yourself away from it feels something like a heroin detox...or at least that what I think it would feel like if i knew what that actually felt like...Why pry yourself away? Because you realize the whole relationship with this person is not based on reality.

As you can probably tell, I'm speaking from experience and I'm in the aftermath of it all right now...I am a flirtextaholic...and I have to say, holding myself back from flirtexting is one of the most unbelievably difficult things I have had to do. It's so easy and so satisfying that it seems so harmless...and it usually is in most situations! It can be so amazing! But I found myself caught up in a messy web, falling for someone via flirtexting, someone who was/is  'unavailable' and realized that this situation was becoming...not so good. 

When I fall for someone, everyone else becomes so unexciting and seemingly not worth my time...and I found I was closing off to those other possibilities due to this flirtexting relationship that wasn't going anywhere...nor could it go anywhere....there was no reward at the end of the day. So I had to cut myself off. Cut him off. Stop the addiction. Cold Turkey. And though I still want to cave in every day...and to just write one little thing...to let him know I'm still thinking of him...or that I haven't lost all those feelings...I won't let myself...I'm stronger than that right?! I have to believe that's true because I, just like so many other wonderful women, deserve something more than a simple little phone relationship. 

Flirtexting has become the new way of someone being into you but just not That into you....and therefore void of all responsibilities of a real relationship. So my friends, I will conclude with saying become a flirtextaholic...it has the potential to be a beautiful, sexy thing...just be aware, be very aware! 

Also beware the dangers of texting because if you find yourself texting too much...this could happen to you ;)  "9 humiliating ways cell phones injure people"

The Needham Dine Around

One of my  family's favorite thing to do on a free night is to go on what we like to call "the Needham dine around". It's a delicious evening that takes place in Needham, MA beginning at Masala Art, a fabulous Indian restaurant in the town center. Masala Art has possibly the best bar I have ever been to...because they don't just make you a cocktail, they make you a 'what you're in the mood for custom cocktail' and each one promises to be amazing. The very awesome and intense bartenders Jason and Kyle will approach you as you take a seat, welcome you to the restaurant, and ask you what you'd like. If you're in the mood for a custom cocktail, you're questioned on a number of things, including base alcohol, sweet and sour preferences on a scale of 1-10, spices, teas, fruit etc. The other night, I said I wanted something that tasted like spring...and by golly they whipped one up that was exactly that. Genius! I can't ever give them enough praise! 

The second stop on the dine around is Sweet Basil. It's a magnificent little Italian restaurant run by David Becker, an incredible and humble hometown chef who delivers a memorable meal every time with out fail! The dining experience alone is reason to check out the place. They've got  a sweet mix of music playing all night, the staff is a hip group of people who have worked there for years so you feel like you know them. And the food...the food is orgasmic! Large enough portions to have a meal for left overs the next day, you can't go wrong with any dish. The flavors create an Italian party in your mouth with the perfect mixture of sweet and savory!  Just be sure to bring your own booze to dinner if you're interested in dining with wine, they don't and probably won't ever have a liquor license. It's all a part of the small town, neighborhood feel.

Lastly is desert because how can you end a marvelous night with out something perfectly sweet? Right next to Sweet Basil is a little frozen custard joint Abbott's Frozen Custard who's treats are a flawless ending to a flawless evening ;)

If ever in the area, do a Needham Dine Around...because you will not regret it, but you will regret missing it!

Ray's Hell-Burger....Can you say DELICIOUS?!

Um if you haven't had the privileged of dining at Ray's Hell-Burger in Arlington, I suggest you do so immediately! Absolutely the most flavorful burger in town! My girls Katie and Michelle, (pictured below) and I went there to experience the scrumptious-ness that is this small low key restaurant. It's really pretty much everything you would want out of a burger joint. 

You walk in to this unassuming and un-labeled joint, with crowds of people chowing down on big hunks of meat. Heading to the back of the place you pick up the paper menu and order either a custom burger of your choice or one of their specialties. You really can not go wrong! It starts with the meat- incredible flavor and cooked perfectly! Then you top it off with what ever delicious food mood you are in, stick it in a toasted brioche bun and voila! You've got heaven on your plate! Now though you don't need any sides as the burger is big enough, if you're jonesing for fries you won't find them, however they do have a small assortment of delicious complimentary dishes like mac n' cheese and cheesy puffs...yum!

So next time you're looking to go out to dinner somewhere fun and relaxed where you don't sacrifice flavor for a chill atmosphere check out Ray's Hell-Burger, you really won't be disappointed! 

            

Ray's Hell-Burger

1713 Wilson Blvd

Arlington, VA 22209

(703) 841-0001

Mon. 5:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Tue-Thu. 12:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Fri-Sun. 12:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.